It’s been a good month since I last blogged at the end of March about my sunny surf holiday in Fuerteventura. And it makes me sad to think I started the beginning of the year full of gusto & good intentions to get my blog back up & running & already I’ve hit a brick wall so early in the year.
April was a strange month & one of change which sent me into tilt. I know through my blog & social media channels anyone looking in would think I’m this happy go lucky girl with an amazing life – horse riding, dog walking, surfing & running. But sometimes I hit that brick wall & think what the f**k am I doing with my life?!
There were a number of emotional changes I was juggling. My secondment in PR & Social ended at the end of March, it was one of the best years in my working life & left me feeling on a high. Obviously there were some lows, but the amazing highs outweighed those & I’m grateful for that opportunity. I then started a new job looking after Change Comms where there was no job description, no clear path on what to do. Which on the one hand is amazing, as it meant I’m ‘the master of my own destiny’, but on the other hand also scared me stepping into the unknown.
I ended a relationship which after 2 years was going nowhere – our goals & beliefs weren’t aligned & there’s no point in just plodding along in opposite directions.
& thirdly we made some changes with Jonty’s education. I took advice from our physio to try out an instructor who would be more suitable & help get us back on track. & so far, just after 2 lessons – she’s been spot on.
I could go into a lot more depth about my work & personal life but that would be a pretty boring post & my blog would turn into a big therapy session. I guess, what I’m getting at, is that it’s okay not to be okay, & as long as you recognise your emotions & use that energy in a positive way.
So, I’ve signed up to Tough Mudder with my work colleagues in August & started running again. & not just a little jog, I want to get that competitive edge back &I’m gradually getting my running mojo back through the help of Weymouth parkrun. Both horses are in work, after nine months off Barley is back on the road. At the moment he’s just in walk & trot, but it’s a start & gives me hope of normality again.
Like most bloggers when going through an emotional phase, we turn to Pinterest for inspiration. Here are some of my favourite ‘change’ inspired quotes saved in my Quote’s board [for credit] which I take comfort in & hopefully will resonate with some of you. Thanks for reading… & apologies for the downbeat blog post, I feel normal upbeat Country Bumpkin Service will resume shortly.
Big hug Becky! So brave of you to make big decisions like ending a relationship, so hard to do at the time, but you will look back on it and be content with the decision, I am sure. I certainly did when in a similar situation a few years ago. Sucks right now of course, but you're definitely dealing with it right – keeping busy and setting some new challenges! Hopefully you feel a bit more on track with life soon! And by the way, even when things all seem to be going right on paper, it can still sometimes feel a bit WTF at times…I'm married to a wonderful man, have a house which we are making beautiful slowly, and a baby on the way, but I still wonder sometimes why I am gutting rooms weeks before baby arrives or heading off on holiday when I really have absolutely zero time to take off, but hey, dubious decisions on occasion is what life is all about! xx
Thank you Anna for your very kind words. A tough month, but now coming out the other side. Lots to look forward to with a summer of horses & living in Dorset. Have a relaxing holiday before bubba arrives – you definitely deserve it! xx
Lots of big life changes there Becky it sounds like you're level headed in your decisions and bring really postive about the future Hun, well done. Change can be the best thing ever. Speak soon xx
Thank you Lizzie & very true – change can be a good thing. xx